Mommy Writes

My Story

Back a million years ago, I was pregnant with my first child. I had already left my job at BIG company because (a) I knew I could not balance family life with my job and the associated traveling and (b) I wanted to write. But now I was writing for a small community newspaper and also doing the copy editing for the newspaper (who would have thunk it). I spent a good deal of time trying to determine if I could keep doing the part-time job and have a new baby. The answer was soon provided for me: an unpredictable boss who I could frequently hear arguing with people on the phone regarding bills (that I’m sure he owed). I left. I still was owed payment for some articles. I was about nine months pregnant when the editor called me up and yelled at me for at least ten minutes about why he didn’t owe me the money. I stood my ground. But, after I hung up the phone, I was shaking - 1/2 from my anger and 1/2 from my pregnancy hormones. I got the money.

This Book

This book is for all of the woman who continue to work after they are pregnant. It takes over for the other books that devote a chapter to the subject of working while you are pregnant or what you need to know after you have the baby. Written by Dr. Marjorie Greenfield who is a board certified obstetrician-gynecologist and a working mom.

Did you know 60 to 80 percent of women hold jobs while they are pregnant?

“Pregnancy may temporarily compromise your performance at work and it will certainly complicate your life, but for most of us who have ventured down the path to parenthood, the experience has made life immeasurably richer and more meaningful.” (Part 1, Strategic Planning (Before Conception))

The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book is not only a guide to pregnancy while working, but it also addresses making the decision to even begin the journey - Page 4: QUIZ: Do you Want to Have a Baby?

“In many jobs, there is no good time to have children. You will need to decide what is right for you personally and professionally.”

Throughout the book Dr. Greenfield includes real-life insight from women who have worked through and after their pregnancies. What an awesome idea! This provides the camaraderie some women might not have in their jobs and the answers they are seeking from women in their same position.

The book goes on to talk about not only work related issues, but the general questions that any pregnant woman wants answered while pregnant and the decisions they have to make (for example, choosing a Doctor or Midwife). And there are excellent suggestions for breastfeeding and working in Chapter 38.

On the Net

Yesterday, I opened The Wall Street Journal and (great timing) there was a piece (BEST OF THE JUGGLE) on deciphering maternity policies. And there it was, The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book and Dr. Greenfield, addressing the issue of maternity benefits.

Check out this must read blog post and comments from WSJ.

Of course, you can order a copy of your own on Amazon. Link is here. 

It’s a must have resource for any woman considering having children and continuing to work outside the home. And checkout the other reviews on MotherTalk to learn a little more on this book for pregnant working moms.

I didn’t want to go. I knew it would happen.

Last Saturday, I packed my diaper bag with binders and a notebook instead of the usual wipes and pull-ups. I drove one hour to expand my writing horizon. And I left feeling…well, cheap.

I’ve said it once, but it’s worth saying again…I AM NOT A LITERARY WRITER. I cannot write literary stuff. It is impossible. I hate reading it. So, therefore, I hate even attempting to write it. Does this make me a lesser writer? Well, I guess it does.

(As a note - this also applies to grammar and spelling which, according to my junior year high school English teacher, I am also terrible at - thank you Mrs. Spiro for boosting the confidence of a budding writer!)

I’ve been to probably about ten writers’ conferences. Four of which were big deal ones - the type that are crowded, powerful, make you want to write… I took a small class taught by Jennifer Cruise (she was great and real!) and by Donald Maas (tells it to you straight). But, in this conference, I got to sit next to people who are obviously smarter than me. Yes, much smarter. Much more well read. Much more la-de-da-da (that’s a technical term). And they were dying to prove it.

(Exception was two very nice women who I hope read this - they grimaced with me as every writer who does not write literary fiction or thick, heady non-fiction was dismissed with a shrug).

Any discussion of mainstream or commercial fiction was dismissed by the instructor as “well, I don’t read that stuff”. And, the mere thought that creative non-fiction might have some composite characters or “fudging” was unthinkable to another. Um - did they miss that “creative” word? (Thanks James Frey for screwing all of us!)

And my favorite quotes:

“Don’t write for the market.” - Literary journal editor

“Just be patient. Write. We’ll get back to you eventually.” - Another literary journal editor who was explaining their need to hold onto your submission (exclusively) for 4 -6 months.

“My girlfriend was reading her. I don’t know her, how do you say her name?” - Instructor for fiction writing class in answer to a question about Jodie Picoult.

“No one takes electronic submissions. We don’t want to read off of the computer screen.” - Editor requesting that submissions be sent through the mail. Something I have not done in over two years.

The topper was when I saw a person sitting next to me angrily scrawling my name down in his notebook (most likely to Google later - Hi Mr. Conference Guy who didn’t like my stance on creative non-fiction!).

Or maybe the best part was when I suggested to a woman that she work through her non-fiction book by writing smaller pieces, maybe for a book like Chicken Soup for the Soul or Cup of Comfort:

“I would never write for one of those publications.”

It might be awhile before I go to another writers’ conference.

“The funny thing about telling my friends and family that I was going to be a published author is they automatically thought I would achieve Alice Walker or Terry McMillan status overnight.” 

- Christie Glascoe Crower, Your Big Sister’s Guide to Surviving College

“My books arrived today so it is official…YEAH! I am now officially a published author! Wow. Now I have to sell them.” 

- Malonda Richard, My Life Isn’t Perfect…But Thank God My Baby Is

~ Excerpts from A Book Is Born

A Book Is Born is your chance to sit down with 24 “mom” authors who have been there, done that, and lived to tell the publishing story. Like a bunch of big sisters who are eager to tell it like it is, this collection of eye opening stories pieces together everything these women writers went through to make their dream of publishing their books come to reality.

In A Book is Born, Nancy Cleary, author, indie press owner, and book midwife, shares what she has learned in her 10 years of publishing mom authors. The book chronicles the writing adventures of the Mom-Writers Publishing Cooperative as they journey through the publishing, branding and marketing process through each authors own words.

It is like sitting in a writers’ conference that tells you the actual truth of book publishing - not some sugar coated scenario of life as an author that happens to a very small percentage of writers.

Do you think the work stops once you finish writing the last page of your book? Then read Chapter 3 - Pre-Natal Care, where Leeda Bacon, Be Ye Encouraged!, shares her experience:

“Publicity and marketing is a major task. Who do I contact first? Will they respond positively? Have I done enough to get the word out? You read everything you can get your hands on about publicity and you ask everyone for ideas. It’s trial and error and you learn from your mistakes. The marketing pains are challenging, but expected before this beautiful life can be born. You take one step at a time.”

But how did these moms even find a midwife (a.k.a. publisher) for their books? Find out in Chapter 1 - Conception. 

These big sisters want to share their secrets - so if you want to know their favorite resources and tips for mom writers, find out in Chapter 7 - Tech Tips where they share their biggest mistakes, best resources and what they learned as they published their own books that will help make the ride smoother for other mom writers.  

Want to know more about A Book is Born? Visit the blog. Or check out this month’s issue of Mom Writers Literary Magazine where you’ll see Nancy Cleary on this month’s cover.

Or just go ahead and order yourself a copy and get on your way to seeing your own baby born with the guidance of these experienced mom writers.

I am here to expose a little lie…

Author’s Pictures

I was starting to develop a complex. Whenever I read a book, I would instinctively look at the picture on the back flap of the book to “see” the wonderful author. I did this for many reasons, but (mostly) curiosity followed by my desire to see if I looked like a writer.

I was always amazed by the beauty of the authors I enjoyed. Was there no one out there who actually looked like a real person? (Except for men, who, of course, are allowed to show how they look over the age of 25)

Recently, I invested in some professional pictures that I hope to use in the very near future (hint, hint, editor of newspaper who is supposed to get back to me very, very soon). I don’t want to say I was disappointed, but I didn’t look as dreamy as some of my favorites (read: Anita Shreve, Jodi Picoult). Yes, I knew I was not even close to their level on writing, but couldn’t I at least look as good as them on the jacket of a book.

But then I found out the SECRET!

I went out to Amazon tonight to order a very odd combination of books (let’s just say, when I finish reading Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, I’ll be reading The Feminine Mystique) and I saw a little video of Jodi Picoult. And all I can say is Thank You Jesus! A real looking person.

Here’s the video. 

Here’s the jacket picture.

Damn you Photoshop! Stop perpetuating your fictional perfection. But, then again, maybe it will work on my new “professional” shots.  Maybe I’ll make myself a bigger upper lip?  Hmmmm…

Later this year, three of my personal essays will be published in Marna Krajeski’s new book HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE HANDLERS. So I asked Marna, a mom who writes, a few questions about her upcoming book and if she could give some suggestions for other writers looking to publish their books.  Here’s what Marna had to say:

Marna, I am so excited for your next book, HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE HANDLERS, to come out. Can you tell readers what the book is all about?

After my book, HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE: The Moving Life of a Soldier’s Wife, was released, I got lots of emails from military spouses around the country who shared their “uniquely military” stories with me. I found their anecdotes fascinating and I realized that no one had compiled a book of stories about military life from the spouse’s perspective. I decided that the purpose of my sequel would be to find a place for all those voices, but I had a hard time convincing the women that their stories were interesting. People think, “This is just my life. What’s interesting about it?” I’d like military spouses to give themselves more credit for the daily challenges they face.

With your first book, HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE: THE MOVING LIFE OF A SOLDIER’S WIFE, you published through Wyatt-MacKenzie Publishing ( mom’s who write should check out their web site). Will you be working with them for this book, and what has your experience been like with them?

Yes, I’m working with Wyatt-MacKenzie again because I had such a positive experience with them the first time. I tried for two years to find an agent or a publisher for HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE, starting in 2002 before Operation Iraqi Freedom focused so much national attention on the military. I collected a shoebox full of rejection letters because the publishing industry just didn’t believe in the military market.

Wyatt-MacKenzie was the first publisher who recognized the value of this niche market–that is, the military family angle. What’s more, the publisher solicited my input on so much of the book’s production, from the  fonts and cover art to the organization of the material. We had a great working relationship and I’m looking forward to the next partnership.

For all of those budding writers out in the blogosphere, what sage piece of advice would you give regarding making their dream of publishing a book a reality?

Practice your craft of writing. Join a writing group at a local library or take some classes to get the feedback you need. Trust the process (this is a biggie). Writing is brainstorming, mind mapping, forming a rough draft, rewriting, and revising. With each revision, the product gets better and gains more dimension and clarity. It’s not an exaggeration to say many parts of HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE were rewritten five times or more.

On a purely practical level, I recommend the book THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN YOU AND A PUBLISHED BOOK by Susan Page. Her step-by-step instructions helped me articulate my idea, write a book proposal, and query potential publishers. It was a L-O-N-G process, so pace yourself, believe in yourself, and develop a thick skin!

Click here to order Marna’s first book, HOUSEHOLD BAGGAGE.

She also suggested taking a look at Wyatt-MacKenzie’s A BOOK IS BORN: 24 Authors Tell All by Nancy Clary which I will feature on this blog in the near future.

Thanks Marna for all of the great information!