Mommy Writes

Sorry to leave you hanging with the last post, but (double sorry) I’m going to leave you hanging a bit longer.

Seems I’ve started a new business and I didn’t even know! And, hey, if you’re traveling through the Triangle region in NC, feel free to stop on by! We’ll be here a few more weeks so take advantage of this tremendous opportunity while it lasts!

Casa Del Mommy Writes is NOW open in our parking lot!!!

As a matter of fact, we opened last night with our first customer.

Let me tell you about the lovely accomodations. Stretch out in the passenger seat of this beautiful 2004 edition Volvo station wagon and enjoy the relaxing luxury of beige leather seats. Just please don’t puke. And mind your manners. Please ignore us as we pick up our paper in the morning. We’ll try not to disturb your slumber.

However, we are not open every night. We only open on nights where an overly tired mother happens to leave the door unlocked after ferrying kids in and out of the house all day. But be vigilant! It’s free. And all you have to risk is being spotted by one very pissed off soldier who wishes he had been the one that spotted you this morning instead of our peace loving neighbors.

According to those who know better than me, there are two people that are harming our society these days:

President Bush

and

Stay at Home Moms

So hitch up your mommy jeans ladies, it’s time to defend ourselves.

I’ll elaborate on this topic after I unpack my Walmart purchases and clean a few toilets while humming the theme from Spongebob. 

Every few months, I go through this phase where I curse my desire to be a writer.

Terrible thoughts enter my head that go something like “you have no talent, you can’t do this, you’ve written how many novels that have not been published?, don’t you remember what your 11th grade English teacher said to you about your writing abilities?”. This coupled with the fact that I am reading The Feminine Mystique has thrown my mojo into utter chaos.

Only recently have I even gained the courage to tell people that I am a writer. And I try not to qualify it with “sort of”.

I should be happy. Soon I will receive a check in the mail for an article that will be published next month and I will also be receiving copies of the new book that three of my stories will be in:

But, but, but… I still feel like I haven’t made enough progress. And the incredible self-doubt. I’m in my thirties and I haven’t published my own book? Is it like the Olympics where your time for glory can pass you by?

Other recent thoughts:

How will I do this with another baby?

How do I do this with a toddler that doesn’t nap except when my oldest gets home from school?

We’re moving in 3 weeks - how the heck will I get my writing done during this time?

Can I afford (or want) to hire some help with the kids so I have time to write?

How is it possible to gain .5 lbs every single day for the past week (okay, that’s off topic, but it occupies about 15 minutes of thought - at least - of this pregnant mommy’s mind every day) - stop the insanity!?

Every time I go through the Writer Blues, my husband always poses the question: Are you sure this is what you want to do?

I get annoyed. He doesn’t understand what was wrong with asking. We throw around words like “Venus and Mars”, Classic Male Syndrome of wanting to solve the problem instead understand the problem, Classic Female Syndrome of thinking he can read my mind, interpret my feelings, yadda, yadda, yadda… And then he just shrugs and waits for the next time.

But, the thing is, I cannot picture myself doing anything else. Nothing.

So, I guess I’m stuck… 

As a writer.

Sort of.

I can’t focus.

My non-fiction writing is suffering. 

My blog has (almost) died.

My email goes unanswered.

What could it possibly be?

Oh, yeah. I’m trying to write novel length fiction again.

I remember this world. I’ve been here a few times before.

Please! Someone stop me and pull me back into the land of the living.

Okay, now back to the regularly scheduled blogging (post-eldest son’s tonsil removal, completion of latest and greatest volunteer position, moving preparation, and complete pregnancy exhaustion - p.s. wasn’t that supposed to end in the first trimester?).

So maybe someone can explain it to me.

The obsession with kid nutrition while turning a blind eye to everything else.

Because, it seems, if your child is drinking organic milk, has never touched a processed sugar product, believes baby carrots are “candy” and thinks chicken nuggets will give them cancer, than every other aspect of parenting can be ignored.

I’ve been running into this left and right.

Okay, so Jane doesn’t “do” sugar. But poor behavior, well, that’s not under our control, so let’s focus on the things that are … french fries.

It’s okay to let everything else slid on our parent watch, but all is going to hell if (god forbid!) Bobby has a processed white flour cracker.

I see more organic, non-sugar, non-french fry eating kids throwing fits than I can count…all the while, my kids are watching the spectacle eating their cookies and drinking their organic milk.

Life is sweet and in balance

Myanmar and China

Please learn more about what is going on.

There are so many that are suffering.

Please consider financially supporting those who are already there helping. Even a little helps.

World Vision

My Story

Back a million years ago, I was pregnant with my first child. I had already left my job at BIG company because (a) I knew I could not balance family life with my job and the associated traveling and (b) I wanted to write. But now I was writing for a small community newspaper and also doing the copy editing for the newspaper (who would have thunk it). I spent a good deal of time trying to determine if I could keep doing the part-time job and have a new baby. The answer was soon provided for me: an unpredictable boss who I could frequently hear arguing with people on the phone regarding bills (that I’m sure he owed). I left. I still was owed payment for some articles. I was about nine months pregnant when the editor called me up and yelled at me for at least ten minutes about why he didn’t owe me the money. I stood my ground. But, after I hung up the phone, I was shaking - 1/2 from my anger and 1/2 from my pregnancy hormones. I got the money.

This Book

This book is for all of the woman who continue to work after they are pregnant. It takes over for the other books that devote a chapter to the subject of working while you are pregnant or what you need to know after you have the baby. Written by Dr. Marjorie Greenfield who is a board certified obstetrician-gynecologist and a working mom.

Did you know 60 to 80 percent of women hold jobs while they are pregnant?

“Pregnancy may temporarily compromise your performance at work and it will certainly complicate your life, but for most of us who have ventured down the path to parenthood, the experience has made life immeasurably richer and more meaningful.” (Part 1, Strategic Planning (Before Conception))

The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book is not only a guide to pregnancy while working, but it also addresses making the decision to even begin the journey - Page 4: QUIZ: Do you Want to Have a Baby?

“In many jobs, there is no good time to have children. You will need to decide what is right for you personally and professionally.”

Throughout the book Dr. Greenfield includes real-life insight from women who have worked through and after their pregnancies. What an awesome idea! This provides the camaraderie some women might not have in their jobs and the answers they are seeking from women in their same position.

The book goes on to talk about not only work related issues, but the general questions that any pregnant woman wants answered while pregnant and the decisions they have to make (for example, choosing a Doctor or Midwife). And there are excellent suggestions for breastfeeding and working in Chapter 38.

On the Net

Yesterday, I opened The Wall Street Journal and (great timing) there was a piece (BEST OF THE JUGGLE) on deciphering maternity policies. And there it was, The Working Woman’s Pregnancy Book and Dr. Greenfield, addressing the issue of maternity benefits.

Check out this must read blog post and comments from WSJ.

Of course, you can order a copy of your own on Amazon. Link is here. 

It’s a must have resource for any woman considering having children and continuing to work outside the home. And checkout the other reviews on MotherTalk to learn a little more on this book for pregnant working moms.

The nurse puts her hands on my stomach and starts shaking. I wonder if it is possible to give a fetus shaken baby syndrome. She pushes the sonogram thingy further down into my stomach. Ouch!

“I can’t see its spine.”

Shake, shake, shake.

I assume she knows what she is doing.

“Maybe I can just roll on my side. Maybe…”

Shake. Shake. Shake.

“Hmmm….”

“See anything?”

“Nope.”

Shake. Shake. Shake.

“Guess we’re not going to get a good picture of the spine.”

“Guess not.”

********

FYI: We did get a good shot of one thing…it’s a girl!

Check out my essay over at Mothering Heights for the 2nd Annual Mother’s Day Online Anthology (that was a mouthful)! Please leave a comment on the essay and let me know what you think.

Be sure to check out the other online essays

and

the book Manual for Motherhood, Volume 1, Book Authors which contains the winners of this year’s Mothering Heights Mother’s Day Contest.